You Don’t Necessarily Need to Leave Your House to Have a Hot Date Night
Kevin was on a mission starting when we obtained our tiniest slice of suburbs: transform the cement-floored garage into a pub similar to the fabled Manhattan nightclubs of our young years. Although it required an amount of negotiating and a lot of funds (wood walls like McSorley’s — more costly than you’d imagine! ), eBay trawling, and a lot of time and hours, he succeeded.
We have created this: the GarBar, A dark, classic, and surprisingly chic retreat decorated with vintage gig posters and pennants. It is where my husband reads a book or watches baseball and listens to dad’s music–and where our friends all want to gather even in winter. (Space heaters are great for reducing the chill. However, I recommend wearing the use of a jacket.)
After baseball season is finished, our buddies are gone, and we’re now the GarBar’s only customers. It’s an entirely different type of venue. It’s odd to admit it, but some of the most intimate, electric moments during our marriage took place on the other side of the world.
We discovered the sexy attraction of the GarBar through a chance encounter one night. I usually read at night. However, Kevin requested that I come out and take a look at his latest artwork that he’d hung up–a Pavement poster as well as a tin beer-themed sign, I’m not sure–and before I realized it, he’d poured me another drink as we sat side-by-side at the bar, with my feet on his lap. The early-aughts band, the indie rock group, played on the stereo, and summer rain poured down in a swath just outside the roll-up doors. He looked gorgeous with the hazy glow that emanated from Edison bulbs that he’d hung…you can imagine what the night’s journey was like.
The moment comes when we experience the inevitable dip in our intimacy, a normal part of any relationship that lasts for a long time. Our conversations are routine (Did you send your Shipt to purchase through? Do you have toilet paper to bring upstairs?) instead of being intellectually stimulating, sexually stimulating an intellectually stimulating, flirty, or probing “date” in the bar when our five-year-old son is asleep is a safe solution. Also, it’s cost-effective since no babysitter is needed as long as you remember to check out the baby monitor application with no added drink markup.
What’s so sexually attractive about drinking a drink in a concrete container? Funny trash conversation is one example. In the midst, we play darts, and the competitive excitement makes us intense and nervy. Furthermore, we enjoy drinks at the sleek oak bar while looking at one another instead of doing what marriage demands from us: looking at our child, the household chores, or ourselves. Exhausted mental state. At the garage, we go back to the person we were before becoming friends during the exhausting 18-year period of product launches that are child-rearing. Snapping back to the experience of the person you met when you first met is among the best ways to relax.
The most important thing to keep your attraction is finding ways to take a break from life’s daily routine to revel in the person beneath. Do you need to construct an outdoor bar to achieve this? No. You may have to change the tone of your connection between now and then. I’ve found that eating out does not do this. You’re away for two hours at most, most of which is thinking about how much the evening of secluded revelry will cost your pocket (just you?). Instead, I suggest rearranging your routine to create something more tasty.
While our boy was young and we were a bit naive, it was that our evenings were a time to shut off our brains and separate ourselves from the world, the world, and, in turn, the other. On a whim, we decided to go through American Film Institute’s top 100 films list. It was not arousing–we were watching films, but it gave us a lot to talk about, and it was an actual choice rather than a default choice, making our evenings less of mental healing than enjoyment. (Our most important takeaway is that even though you’ll dislike Singin'” In the Rain,” you’ll be awestruck by Singing in the Rain.)
What would this kind of shakeup look like to you? I don’t know what it would look like, but it shouldn’t be too complicated. You can have the same meal you planned to eat; however, make it an outdoor picnic, or take food to take and find a nice spot to take it to eat. Instead of parallel-scrolling in the living room, get outside and enjoy watching the sky turn dark. (Before, we had a GarBar and an outdoor swing, which we read at night after our son’s time to go to bed.) Instead of watching a show or something before bed, you can sit at the table in the kitchen and play a game. Make a small, manageable change that does not seem like a chore to be crossed off your to-do list. These things can go a long way in enhancing your intimate relationship, but that’s not your goal. The goal is to eliminate the dull feeling that life can bring, leaving you ready to take on more raunchy adventures.
These suggestions may sound absurd. What’s the point of eating at the table? Playing Clue, us, and two grumpy adults? When you first started dating, and everything your partner had to say was fascinating and wonderful, would you not have done everything with them without hesitation? If yes, put aside your doubt and try it. Indeed, being in a smoky garage isn’t a good idea, but it’s done very well.
