You Are Stronger Than You Think
When I was preparing to give a TedTalk, my mother gave me a pendant with a quote by Christopher Robin ( Winnie the Pooh), which said: “You are stronger than you appear, smarter than your think.” This became my mantra and the title of my book, Strength Enough: Choosing courage, resilience, and triumph.
It’s fair to say that COVID-19 (the coronavirus) caught us all off guard and is kicking our arses. It’s hard not to feel stressed, overwhelmed, and out of control when we have to balance our physical health with virtual work environments, caring for elders and children, and economic concerns.
The world is full of bumps, potholes, and even pandemics or global crises. This is a difficult situation. I can tell you that with absolute certainty. I know we can also do difficult things and become stronger.
I’ve been interviewing and writing articles and working with teams around the world to help them navigate uncertainty and build resilience. These conversations have revealed a surprising trend: many people believe they are the only ones struggling to balance work, family, and life.
I can assure you that we’re all in this s**t show together. I am not alone in feeling conflicted, anxious, or afraid. This makes it difficult to regulate emotions and stay sane.
Here are five ways to reset your mind when you begin to doubt yourself, feel alone, or question your ability to bounce back:
PLEASE DON’T RUN AWAY FROM IT
We try to escape from fear, anxiety, and other unpleasant emotions. We try to run away from the uncomfortable feelings, thinking we can deal with them later. Or we use Netflix and wine to numb our pain. Unsurprisingly, ignoring the feelings only increases their intensity and duration.
Emotions, which are information and cause a physiological and neurological reaction, are nothing more than a form of communication. Please pay attention to it. It’s a good idea to sit in it. It’s not for you to judge. Emotions do not have a good or bad side. Emotions are a warning. You can take a few deep breaths and feel the emotions, then move on.
Change your interpretation
We are more likely, when we are tired or stressed, to revert to our habitual thinking and behavior patterns. Why? Most of us are unaware that changing our habits starts with our thoughts, not our actions.
Our beliefs drive our behavior. We experience emotions whenever we are triggered. Emotions have a neurobiological basis. We can’t control them. You can control how you interpret the situation. You may analyze a position as “the sky is falling!” If you think, “The world is ending!” then your response will be different than if it is interpreted as an opportunity to reevaluate the most important things. Dave Hollis said it well: “In your rush to get back to normal, consider which parts of the world are worth returning to. ”
Make time for your physical and mental health
Exercise isn’t something that I naturally gravitate towards. I could find all sorts of excuses not to exercise, but it has become a must.
I’ve kept myself sane by getting outside every day and working up a sweat. My daughter and I have been dancing together in our living room to Dance with Adriene.
Mental and emotional health are equally important. Mental health is a problem that affects one in five adults and kids. This number has risen dramatically. Depression is a serious illness that is best treated by a combination of therapy, medication, and self-care. Exercise is also good for mental health. Exercise helps your brain repair damaged neurons caused by stress. It also lowers the risks of Alzheimer’s disease, dementia, and heart disease. It gives your brain the positive stuff it needs to function when you’re constantly in a state of anxiety and uncertainty.
It is not necessary to swim across the Atlantic, run marathons, or climb tall buildings to improve your cognitive abilities and resilience. Just 10 minutes of exercise a day can improve your health, strength, and stability.
CHOOSE THE OPTIMISM
Simon Sinek is one of my favorite writers. I’ve watched his TED talk and heard him live. He said that optimism isn’t wearing rose-colored lenses. Optimism means believing that things will improve. We will find a solution to the problem.
It’s easier to say than do when you are in the thick of things but being optimistic means that you take the time to consider how you will interpret the challenges in your life. This is not just a bunch of fluff. Every situation, even the worst ones, offers an opportunity to challenge self-defeating negative thoughts. When we view life with a positive lens, our mental and physical well-being is more likely. We find more good things when we focus on them.
Last week, I hosted a Facebook Live session with Mo Brossette. Mo Brossette is a Mindset and Mediation Expert who has created a set of guided meditations that train your brain with gratitude and readiness to prepare you for whatever challenge lies ahead. You can listen to the recording of our conversation on my page.
STAY CONNECTED
The happiness boost that you receive from connecting with others, like optimism and gratitude, is vital to your health and well-being. It’s also a crucial element in building resilience. A sense of belonging and friendship is a fundamental psychological need that has a significant impact on our health.
The need to be connected has not changed despite our new “normal.” Social isolation does not equate to social distancing.
If you’re overwhelmed by your stress or that of others, it is important to stay connected and not retreat. Kelly McGonigal, a Stanford University psychologist, explains that our bodies produce oxytocin when we’re stressed. Our brain releases hormones that signal us to seek connection. Make a real effort to reach out to your friends and family members who live alone.
We will make it through. I hope you will find the courage to face these turbulent times, grow your emotional resilience and health, and reconnect with a triumphant spirit.
