The Good Enough Parent

My blogs are full of “good enough”. No parent should strive to be perfect. You can be imperfect but still do a great parenting job with your kids. The Best Parent Is a Good Enough Parent

Donald Winnicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst, coined the term “good enough mom”. Bruno Bettelheim, a psychiatrist, scholar, public intellectual, and author, later extended the concept to include “good enough parents”. Here are some tips.

Do not expect perfection from your children. Give yourself and others some grace and show compassion. Failures and mistakes are learning experiences, not character flaws or arbiters of self-worth.

Respect your children and learn to accept them as they are. Parents who are good enough “see their children right now as human beings and see their job as getting to know them.” Parenting is child-centered, not parent-centered.

Care more about your child’s childhood and not so much about their future. Remember that your children’s success in the present will help them to have a bright future.

Give your children the support they need, but not more, but let them know that you will be there to help and guide them. Expect your children to be independent and to seek out other resources to help and connect.

Be reflective and mature. Think and act rationally. Problem-solve well. See life through the eyes of your children.

Feel confident in your parenting abilities and accept that you will make mistakes.

What have you learned from this blog about parenting? What have you learned from your parents as an adult child? What can you do to parent yourself in accordance with the above principles? There is no better time than the present to heal yourself. You can choose to forgive your parents, no matter how bad they were.