The Best Way to Express Your Sympathy
The emotion of empathy overwhelms us. Sympathy inspires us to reach out for help
If you’ve lost a family member, friend, or lover, you’re aware of the pain those initial days, weeks, or even years could be. In the aftermath, you might receive various types of condolences. People who express sympathy might be unsure about the most effective way to express their condolences in a genuinely comforting manner.
Deconstructing the Emotion of Sympathy
According to a recent paper by Elodie M. Malbois (2023), “Sympathy” is “a feeling for another” (p. 85). Contrary to the self-oriented emotional state of empathy, which is being “with” another, sympathy is an “other-” oriented emotion. Self-focused emotions refer to what you feel in the present, not the situation with another person. A loss can cause you to feel sad for a moment due to an unfortunate situation. Personal sadness doesn’t play a role in the non-responsive emotional state called sympathy. In citing other writers, Malbois says that empathy occurs when it is “elicited by and congruent with the perceived welfare of someone else.” In contrast to the emotion of schadenfreude, where you are filled with joy or happiness when you witness someone else suffering the loss of someone else, and you feel a sense of pity, sympathy is limited only to negative feelings.
When the emotion of compassion is triggered, and you can feel it, the next question is what you can do to show the feeling. One approach is to offer aid by helping the person who has experienced the loss and perhaps helping out around the house or serving a meal. Various traditions worldwide are based on this concern with people’s “perceived welfare” of the bereaved. This suggests that at least a portion of the motive to assist is based on the perspective of normative expectations.
Sympathy against. Empathy
It’s one thing to recognize the meaning of sympathy for someone else’s well-being, but it’s different to determine the best way to convey the emotion to them. These actions of kindness can be a good start, but they can’t connect to the person’s feelings. Yes, they’ll appreciate you preparing food, so they will have less to consider. But what else could you do to reduce their stress on this level of emotional turmoil?
When you think back to your loss in your life, What did you find the most comfortable? Many people express their condolences in a generic way, including “Sorry for your loss.” You might be wondering about the sincerity of their sentiments, mainly when the person you’re talking to is one whom you aren’t familiar with, like the customer service rep helping you select the right flowers you should order to pay for your funeral. However, consider this more appropriate than the absence of any words.
If someone you know expressed condolences, but in a formal and slightly distant way, your reaction may not be identical. It is expected of those who are familiar with you and perhaps even knew the deceased to express their support in a manner specific to your circumstances. The only condition is that if this message is followed with a hug or tears, you should be content with the gestures they make rather than in their words as such.
In reverting to sympathy as a non-reflective emotion, it could be possible to understand this idea to understand another characteristic of expressing sympathy in a well-executed manner. The separation of your personal experience from the one of those who have lost a loved one means that what you do or say comes directly from “outside” of yourself. Instead, if you let yourself feel the same loss of emotion, your comfort will be more effective.
Malbois describes empathy as “feeling what another person is feeling,” and even though you won’t know the exact nature of their emotions in the first place if you try to tap into their emotions to gain an understanding of their feelings. Empathy, by itself, she says, can’t trigger an action, but it could be a prelude to sympathy, as it allows you to learn about another person’s inner thoughts. According to her, “Empathy then plays an epistemic role rather than a motivating one” (p. 90).
The emotions causing loss can be overwhelming; empathy has the risk of making you attempt to get away from the person who has lost their loved ones as you can. From the bereaved person’s perspective, the knowledge that you’re willing to accept the adversity of negative emotions might give you some relief.
Communicating Your Sympathy Most Effectively
Expressions of deep concern to the person suffering the loss mix empathy and sympathy. It needs to be clarified the path you need to take to reach empathy. A U. Geneva author suggests that in gaining empathy, you’re always trying to comprehend another’s perspective from your perspective. Being a grieving person, there is a chance that you don’t feel the emotions that the person who comforts you imagines to be feeling. The person who comforts you is responsible for getting that perspective. The best way to get that perspective is to allow them to listen.
Sympathy may also manifest as an emotion for others who suffer from an experience of loss. Friends, family members, and partners had their unique relationships in the wake of death. Through this process of grieving together, everyone struggles with the loss but also attempts to comfort each other. As strong the bond of those who have lost a loved one, the greater the empathy and empathy.
In the way that the Malbois paper explains the concept of sympathy and its companion, empathy is feelings built on social connections. When you consider losing your loved ones, Knowing that other people are there to help you can be reassuring. Even if they fumble a little in their expression of compassion, The more of their words stem from trying to comprehend how you feel and the less you’ll be concerned about the specific phrases they employ.
