The Best Movies For Getting Over Your Ex
We want to help you create the perfect Rolodex for movies that can help you cope if and when things fall apart with your loved ones. To help us on our journey to catharsis, we’ve looked at the Kubler-Ross model for handling grief. This divides the grieving process into five phases: denial (or denial), anger (or bargaining), depression, and finally, acceptance.
Breakup movies come in many forms: those that depict breakups literally and those that portray the various stages of a separation metaphorically. (500 Days of Summer, for example. This is about divisions. The hours are about dealing with grief, a feeling that comes after any loss, but especially when you lose a relationship. We’re looking at films that can help you deal with the separations of a relationship in a less obvious but still helpful manner.
Above all, movies are therapeutic. No other form of art can help us relieve, relive, or reevaluate the most painful experiences we have ever had. You can click through to view our selections of films that will help you get through each one of these five stages and on to renewal.
Silver Linings Playbook
It’s sad to watch someone who refuses to accept a breakup. But that’s why the romance between Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper’s manic lovers is so powerful. Cooper’s character can only see Jennifer Lawrence when he learns to let her go.
Deny: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
You may have wished that you never had to meet the person who broke your heart. Joel Barrish, played by Jim Carrey in Charlie Kaufman’s Strange Romance, has his wish granted through a mysterious process that erases the memories of Kate Winslet (his ex-girlfriend). He realizes that the love they had was worth it, but he also knows we will repeat the same mistakes, no matter how well-intentioned our intentions are. Love is not always enough.
DANIEL: (500 Days of Summer
Zooey’s manic pixie fantasy girl is the only one who can pulverize a man’s love. Marc Webb’s fresh take on the romantic comedy features Tom (Joseph Gordon Levitt), who is a hopeless romancer who has to suffer through the pain of a failing relationship before he can see clearly on the other end.
ANGER: She-Devil
Imagine that the same premise as The Other Woman was used, but instead of Cameron, Leslie, and Kate, you had a maniacal Roseanne Bar with a mole. Barr’s Ruth, after being horribly treated by her husband, goes after his four assets – home, family, and job – taking down the WASPy Meryl (who is in her true comedy form) who stole her man. The hell has no fury. It is brutal, evil, and demonstrative.
Desperate Living
In the first 30 minutes of this disgusting and filthy John Waters movie, Mink Stole kills her husband and flees with her lesbian lover. This film is filled with a sense of urgency and proves the bad guys often get what they deserve. Literally.
Angry: Heathers
I just killed my best buddy.
“And, worst enemy…”
“Same difference.”
We’re not advocating an accidental murder crime spree, but Heathers serves as a reminder that the people you are stuck with are often the most toxic. Winona Ryder’s response to Christian Slater, the psychopath, is that she only wants “cool dudes like you” out of her life.
Legally Blonde
The main takeaway of Legally Blonde is that the best revenge is to be yourself and challenge yourself. This means achieving your goals, trying new things, and remaining true to who you are. You know, do it.
Angry: War of the Roses
This is not about pre-Tudor England. It’s about a couple whose marriage, which seemed to be perfect, begins to unravel. Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner turn bitterly on each other and use their possessions, pets, and chandeliers against each other. Spoiler alert! It’s darkly morbidly funny and works.
BARGAINING My best friend’s wedding
Julia Roberts’ portrayal of a woman who is desperate for what she cannot have is similar to watching a cow swim. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Roberts, a careerist who has been in love with her best friend for a lifetime while he is planning his wedding, shows us how difficult it can be to fall in love with someone else.
BARGAINING: Chasing Amelia
Ben Affleck’s Holden concludes the film by bargaining with both his girlfriend and best friend, providing a stupid solution to all the tension that exists between them. You can’t convince anyone, especially yourself, to accept someone you love.
BARGAINING: Forgetting Sarah Marshall
This is the one in which Jason Segel goes naked. He bears more than just his privates as a lovelorn audio mixer who is forced to let go of his famous girlfriend, Kristen Bell. He screams he begs, and he pleads to get her back before deciding that they weren’t meant to be. How does he arrive there? Two words: Mila Kunis.
Blue Valentine
Derek Cianfrance’s autopsy of a relationship gone bad is a staunch reminder that all things fall apart. We apologize for our gloomy outlook. We are sure that you will agree after watching Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams and their downward spiral as a couple. Relationships. Are. Hard.
DEPRESSION Chinatown
It’s just as depressing to watch Jack Nicholson, a bandaged detective, wander through Roman Polanski’s grim depiction of postwar Los Angeles. This classic neo-noir — where the rich get even richer, disenfranchised people drown, and corruption is rampant – is a stark reminder that we live in a frightening, terrifying world.
DEPRESSION The Hours
This Oscar-nominated movie does a great job of capturing the complexity and isolation of depression. And not just depression but particularly feminine depression. Three women from three different eras, but one emotion that connects them all. The film serves as a reminder that no one really is alone, despite what you may think.
Acceptance: First Wives Club
This movie is based on the idea that your husband may leave you after a certain time for a woman younger than yourself, which is sad. It also shows the strength of a strong womanly bond and what can happen when women are determined to focus on something other than men.
Acceptance: A Woman Unmarried
Another man-leaving-for-a-younger-woman tale, this snapshot of New York in the ’70s doesn’t just address the end of a relationship but the sexual liberation of women as well. Jill Clayburgh was nominated as an Academy Award nominee for her role. She goes through all five stages Kubler Ross outlines here but emerges on the other side empowered and sexually fulfilled.
Acceptance: Postcards From the Edge
Meryl Streep’s character, Suzanne, is adapted from Carrie Fisher’s true story of getting clean and returning to acting. She must sober up to continue her film career. This means dealing with sleazy production companies, her overbearing mom, and addiction. Messy Meryl has a darkly dry and earnest tone. The film makes a smart assumption: many of us have dysfunctional relations with our mothers. And the sooner that we recognize this, the sooner that we can laugh.
ACCEPTANCE: How Stella Got Her Groove Back
Terry McMillan’s inspiring story of a divorcee in her middle age (Angela Bassett), who (what else?) This movie will make you believe that the grass is always greener on the other side, even when that other side is composed of a wisecracking Whoopi Goldberg and the sun-drenched Jamaican island, as well as Taye Diggs without his shirt on.
ACCEPTANCE Julie Newmar, Thank You for Everything to Wong Foo
This movie may not have a real romance, but the message is still powerful. You are what you are, and grace, class, and a good sense of goodness will make you fabulous. It’s also “Say Anything Hat Day.”
RENEWAL Breaking Waves
Lars von Trier is not usually a source of stories of redemption. But in this tearjerker, the chronic pessimist puts Emily Watson’s fragile young Bess to the emotional test before bringing her through a spiritual awakening that will remain with you for many days, months, and years.
Up
Pixar’s modern classic has one of the most heartbreaking opening sequences in film history. Our faith in humanity returns after the curmudgeonly widower forms an unlikely friendship with a chubby Boy Scout.
RENEWAL Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone
This is a story that deals with beginnings. Imagine the magical journey Harry and film fans will embark on. Take this opportunity to begin again.
RENEWAL: Waitress
Keri Russell stars in this poignant story of redemption as a baker stuck in neutral who finds new hope in the form of a handsome physician (Nathan Fillion) and a bun baking in the oven. Not the cream-filled kind, but the one that takes nine months to make.
