The Age When You Stop Feeling Young
You may have noticed that you are not recovering as quickly after an evening out. Or, you might need more sleep. There’s more to feeling older than simply feeling tired. A former footballer quoted in the WSJ said that people are “afraid of] the signs and the fact they can no longer do the things they used to.”
Some people may feel more loss as they age. Some people seem to be unable to move forward or stay motivated in the present. They may reminisce or retreat into their past rather than be interested in what is happening today or staying productive. You may have wondered what retirement would be like and if all the free time you’d get will make you restless.
The media’s bias towards aging in this society doesn’t make us look at aging positively. Tracey Gendron, Ph. is the author of Ageism Unmasked: Exploring Age Bias and How to End It. She blames profit motives for a culture that’s antithetical to getting older. She wrote that the media, in particular, plays on fear and shame about aging. This encourages a multi-billion dollar anti-aging industry. She said, “We live in an age where we are shamed and ruled by standards of beauty.” (Tracey Gendron, personal communication, 2023). Gendron explained how Americans are bombarded by messages that portray aging falsely or misleadingly, causing them to have negative preconceptions.
The pessimism that is engrained in us by advertising seems to work against the one way to maintain subjective well-being: having a positive outlook. In a review article published in 2018, Scheier & Carver concluded that personality influences how people react to life’s challenges and significant events. They also suggested that “dispositional positivity” — the stable expectation of positive outcomes — may facilitate better ways of coping. Bettini et al. In 2006, Bettini et al. named some qualities that can help people deal with aging. These include autonomy, self-acceptance, religious beliefs that are reassuring, and a network of close family or friends. People who adapt well to aging tend to have many interests, a degree of independence, and a social network of people of all ages and worry little about themselves or their loved ones.
There are many ways to reduce the focus on what aging means to American culture and instead concentrate on what aging can mean to each of us individually. Gendron says, “The good thing is that we do not have to adhere [to the culture’s negative standards of aging].” “Perhaps the best coping mechanism is empowering ourselves to define beauty and success differently–according to our standards.”
What got us here? That’s the key. Gendron agrees with those who believe that stress and anxiety can have a negative impact on the body. This will eventually lead to physical disease or dysfunction. (See Yaribeygi, et. al., 2017). Gendron says that while eating healthy and exercising regularly can help mitigate the negative effects of stress, they are not the main factors in determining longevity. Wealth is not the best way to remain young.
Levy et al. Levy et al. Participants who held a more positive view of their aging lived, on average, seven-and-a-half years longer than participants with less positive thoughts. Levy says that staying physically fit, having good relationships with others, and being financially comfortable can all help. But the way we feel about aging is even more important.
People who live long are likely to experience many ups and downsides. It may seem like their bodies aren’t working as well or looking as good as they used to. You may lose friends or see loved ones get sick. It may be difficult for them to retire from a career that they have had their entire lives. As we age, these moments can unjustly dominate our perception. Gendron says that we tend to focus on physical decline rather than celebrating and acknowledging all the growth and development. In such cases, it may be best to keep in mind that you are not just aging but also growing. Gendron writes that “recognizing how we continue learning and evolving emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically helps contextualize aging as a holistic and dynamic process.” Remember when you graduated from high school? You probably had to leave behind your friends and familiar surroundings. In college or later, you may have discovered new hobbies and friendships you enjoy just as much, if not more.
As you age, you may suffer losses, but at the same time, your personality changes and evolves. It’s not difficult to come up with several ways that you have grown and become a better version of yourself. Gendron believes that every day you live, you become a unique person as you accumulate a wide range of experiences and knowledge that no one else has. When you think about the loss of youth, remember that you can also be something different. You can pursue new ideas, meet new people, learn new things, and follow new interests to become a better version of yourself. With this perspective, perhaps you can resist the bias that is culturally dictated against aging.
