The five phases of a relationship are The Merge, Doubt and Denial, Disillusionment, Choice, and Wholehearted Love. Every relationship has to go through these five stages, though not all at once.

Consider these phases not as stepping stones towards an end-point but as a sequence of seasons we go through on an endless cycle.

The five stages of each relationship and how to handle each.

The stages of an affair are cyclical, not linear.

Every close relationship always progresses from a first meet-cute excitement to several small challenges and trials before finally reaching the blissful state of happily ever after.

It’s a gratifying story we hear in TV, movies, and the world of music. In real life, it’s a journey with no end point.

It’s not likely that in the future, at a particular moment in our relationship, we’ll be able to look back on the challenges we faced and think, “Well, that’s it! We’re here! We made it!” Because no matter where you are at the moment, a different obstacle is waiting for you.

Also, the steps of any relationship aren’t linear but cycles. Even people who reach the fifth and final stage of a relationship–Wholehearted Love–will eventually find themselves looping back to Stage 1 to start the process all over again. However, they can return to the beginning.

It is based on the Love Cycles model and is drawn from my experiences as a couple therapist over the past three decades. Researching couples at every stage of their relationship and discovering common patterns.

This article will help you learn about the five phases of marriage and the qualities couples require to get through each one.

Stage 1: The Merge

Best CBD Gummies for Sex

The initial stage that a couple goes through is Merge also known as the honeymoon stage. It’s the beginning, expansive romance that typically takes over a couple when they first meet and experience a consuming love when we are with our spouse and an intense, passionate sexual intimacy.

In the beginning, people in this phase of their relationship think they’ve discovered the ” perfect match,” one who is very similar and perfect with their personality. They always wish to be with each other, and the boundaries are often dissolved. They blend each other, or at the very least, they are eager to merge.

The emotions of our lives often overwhelm the rational portion that our brains use to process information. Research suggests this initial stage is characterized by biological changes in the brain 1.–a mixture of hormones that create and sustain an infatuation state that includes dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins.

This neuro-energetic glow can result in us becoming “addicted” to our partners and overlooking incompatibilities, warning signs, or other concerns.

What should you do at this stage of a relationship:

Take advantage of this moment to the fullest. This is what makes dating so exciting. However, keep an eye on your increased feelings. It would help if you took a moment to step back and examine your emotions and your relationship. It would help to consider whether the person is your perfect partner.

Ask for honest advice from trusted people to ensure you’re not overlooking any alarming red flags when taking this mysterious love drink.

Be cautious when making important decisions. Merge could cloud your judgment and cause you to get involved in scenarios that may not be healthy or wise for you over the long term.

Don’t make choices just because it’s “so in love”–because it’s just a fleeting feeling of attraction that will fade.

Stage 2: Doubt and Denial

The next stage in the relationship involves Doubt and Denial when we begin to see our differences with our partner. We awake from the trance state of infatuation with a bang, only to discover those characteristics that seemed so ideal are now causing us to be annoyed. (His credibility now seems shaky, his generosity appears unreliable, and their reckless nature seems like a risk that is not worth taking.)

Unfortunately, friction becomes normal when we are across each other’s weaknesses. Conflicts between us escalate, and we are amazed by the changes in our partners. The feelings of love are mixed with anger and discontent. Maybe there’s a reason we’re just perhaps not “perfect” for each other in the end.

As the level of our discontent increases and our emotions become more intense, so do our bodies reactions to stress. Our response may be to fight or retreat based on our personality and the situation.

In this case, you might find yourself fighting to protect your beliefs, which could become a desire to get everything your way. It’s not sensible to assume that someone else will be like us; however, at some point, most of us often ask, “Why aren’t you like me?”

What do you do in this stage of a relationship:

At this moment, abilities to manage conflict are vital. You must learn to manage conflict and deal with relationship issues face-to-face while treating one another respectfully and caring.

Keep in mind that power struggles and disagreements are everyday in relationships. They do not necessarily indicate that love is waning or a relationship isn’t working.

You’ll have to distinguish between healthy disagreements and unhealthy control issues. The former can be negotiated, whereas the latter indicates that you should break up. Motion to split up.

Since this is the time when you’re beginning to realize the differences between you, this phase of your relationship is also an excellent time to start learning your love language. It is said that there are five languages of love, and each person must understand what their partner’s preferences are to receive their love.

Stage 3: Disillusionment

The third stage in relationships is the Disillusionment stage. It is the winter time of love, which could signify an ending for certain couples. At this moment, the power struggles within the relationship have risen to the surface. The problems that the team has repeatedly put under the carpet have now become glaringly obvious.

Some people are constantly vigilant, ready to jump to battle upon the slightest threat. Couples may be able to drift away over time, investing less and less effort in maintaining their relationship and putting more effort into it.

At this moment, our intense love experience usually faded. It is when the “I” reemerges, a situation that feels more secure than the previous sensation that was “we.” However, particular couples might not doubt their commitment to each other but instead, think this is a powerful warning that things must be altered.

What do you do at this stage of the relationship:

Clean the air and create space. Don’t put issues under the rug and avoid problems; however exhausting as endless arguments can be, pushing them beneath the rug makes a muddy carpet with many obstacles to walk over.

There could be lots of negative energy within your relationship during this time. To counter this, you should practice being affectionate even when angry. Do you get angry and know something isn’t working and want to discuss it, but you still plan to eat dinner or a movie with your partner?

In the Merge when the brain observes only the positives and tries to avoid any aspect that could challenge that perspective. In the disillusionment phase, the brain is focused on the relationship’s weaknesses.

The things that go well are overlooked; issues that are not going well are the focus of our focus. You can counteract this process by implementing a deliberate practice of gratitude.

Stage 4: Decision

The fourth stage in relationships is known as”the Decision since you’ve reached the breaking point. Breakdowns in emotions, going out for hours to distance yourself from one another following a fight, and self-protective behaviors are typical. Also, indifference and apathy.

It’s a sign that you’re here if you start to seriously think about moving on and think about ways to end your relationship. You may be ready for an exciting new beginning with a different person.

At this point, we have to choose whether it’s better to leave, stay in the relationship, and ignore the fact that we’re miserable, or work to fix the relationship.

What do you do in this stage of the relationship:

If I meet couples in this situation, I always advise them to think about taking an alternative path and decide to work on their relationship before determining it. Sometimes, couples feel they’d like to get out of the relationship. Still, once they develop the ability to communicate successfully, the years of bitterness or discord can be dissolved.

Working on the issue requires being aware of your part in your relationship’s decline and committing to fundamental changes. If we make this last Decision, we’ll take the lessons learned that will aid us in becoming the most influential people we can be when we give our relationships a chance to develop and develop.

Even if couples decide to separate and move on, they can make it so positively, with each one wishing the other well and recognizing the role they played in the events that transpired.

Stage 5: Wholehearted Love

The fifth stage in the relationship is Wholehearted Love. This is when the connection is at its best and most satisfying. The summer months are when the fruits of couples’ efforts are perfectly ripe and waiting to be enjoyed. Teams have a real sense of individuation of self-discovery and acceptance of imperfections in them and their partners and realize that there isn’t any such thing as a “perfect match.”

There is still much work to be done in the fifth phase of a relationship. However, the main difference is that couples understand what it takes to hear and engage in difficult discussions without fear of being snubbed or being a threat to one another.

In this phase, couples begin to play with each other again. They can relax, laugh and truly enjoy their time together. You can even feel some of the thrilling excitement delights, excitement, and sexual pleasures in the Merge, as each participant discovers their uniqueness by letting them be ultimately in love with one another in a new way.

What do you do in this stage of the relationship:

Get your nutrients back. This Wholehearted Love stage is fueled by the characteristics of two entirely heartfelt individuals: generosity, humor, flexibility, resilience, well-defined boundary-setting, self-care, and a lifestyle that has intention and meaning.

Couples can stay in this state if they can maintain their individuality. So make self-care and self-growth goals that are ongoing.

Be aware of the new challenges far off, but you’ll be prepared to handle them when they arise. As for now, take pleasure in the experience.