Raising an emotionally intelligent child

The majority of parents wish to spare their kids pain or heartbreak. Let’s face it: pain and struggle are part of everyday life. We can equip them with the resilience, emotional intelligence, and EQ skills they need to deal with life’s unexpected curveballs.

What is emotional intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to regulate emotions and think rationally. It also includes how you react to other people’s feelings.

Your EQ helps you navigate daily challenges, from waking up to going to bed. When you maintain your composure or complete your tasks, you are tapping into your emotional intelligence or EQ.

What can emotional intelligence do for your child?

Emotional intelligence can be a sign that you are mature. The more mature we are emotionally, the less we will react without thinking. We can bounce back from disappointments without missing a beat.

Adults can’t throw a fit and stomp their feet when things go wrong. A missed deadline, a speeding ticket that was not timed right, or mud on a freshly steam-cleaned rug are all examples. An emotionally intelligent person doesn’t let obstacles ruin their mood.

A young child, however, is just beginning to interact and explore life. As a result, disappointment can affect them differently. In their little world, etiquette and deadlines are irrelevant. For them, the ice cream falling off their cone onto the concrete is a big disappointment!

It is emotional intelligence that makes the difference between a child who has a temper tantrum and another who calms down and takes a deep breath. Or between a teenager who gets angry at their teacher because of a bad grade and another who asks for advice on how to improve. All angry reactions are normal, but how you respond can have a dramatic impact on the outcome.

Building emotional intelligence will help children deal with the challenges, disappointments, and unfamiliar situations they may face. Low emotional intelligence can also be a prelude to anxiety and depression, according to research. When a child possesses EQ skills, the opposite occurs.

Children with high emotional intelligence can:

• Understand why someone feels a certain emotion.
• Respond instead of reacting to emotions and responses.
• Set goals and improve your focus.
• Be curious about what they don’t know.
• Keep calm and motivated in difficult situations.
• Communication of feelings, preferences, and needs.
• Empathize one-on-one or in a group setting.
• Confidence to follow their passions.
• Impulsive decisions are resisted by thinking skills.

Here’s how to help your kids and teens improve their EQ.

How to raise emotionally intelligent children and teens

Let’s start laying the foundations for your child’s development now that we are on the same page. You’ll be confident to send your teen out into the world when you remove the EQ train wheels.

Choose your favorites and create family rituals to build connections. You can also improve your EQ along with your kids!

Leading by Example

Most often, children will mimic your actions. Boys will often watch their fathers shave and hope to grow a similar beard.

They support the same sports teams, play the same games, and eat the same food. A son may adopt his father’s habits, for better or for worse.

Take Jimmy, a boy of 8 years old whose father is a bitter loser. Jimmy may react with anger if Dad is upset about his football team’s loss on Sunday and has a bad day.

Telling your child to ignore what you are doing and do what you ask them to do will never work. My childhood is an excellent example. My mom smoked cigarettes, and my father smoked cigars. When I was five, my two brothers cigars were caught red-handed smoking.

It would be wiser to adopt healthier habits in your daily life.

Your actions, not your words, are the best teachers.

One wise man said: “There are three ways of parenting: 1) model, (2) model, and 3) model.

Discuss positive role models and identify them.

You will be the first person your child meets who is a role model. Be a positive role model!

It’s also important to expose your child to other role models. It may encourage them to adopt a positive attitude and an optimistic outlook by seeing more adults who have a can-do mindset.

Look at your immediate family, including your siblings, their aunts and uncles, and anyone else living in the house. What would they like about each of them? Are there any outstanding teachers, coaches, or neighbors within your community?

Ask your child if they have any role models. With the popularity of social media influencers on TikTok, someone unknown to you may be following them. Do not minimize their interests. Find out what they like about them. What do they admire about them? Is it their humor? Their humor? You’ll be able to learn more about your child and help them understand themselves by creating a conversation.

Your child may prefer princesses, superheroes (or even both!) Your child’s favorite fictional character is a good place to start a discussion. Even historical figures, famous women, and civil rights leaders may have found their way into the hearts of your child!

Remember their role models and continue to build on every conversation. Share with others the people and moments that shaped your life.

Teach responsibility and accountability.

Responsibilities include doing the things required to survive in a community or family and being accountable.

Accountability is a big term for little kids. Start small and teach them to keep their promises. You may be teaching them to keep their word at a young age when pinky promises are still sacred. Don’t be afraid to lean in! Toddlers are able to pick up their toys, and preschoolers can dry the dishes after dinner. You can teach young children responsibility by involving them in small tasks.

Encourage children to engage in age-appropriate activities that will help them develop life skills.

If an older child has committed to hauling out the trash on weekends, they shouldn’t let Sunday pass without taking the bag to the garbage can. When they are ready to put away their laundry, gently remind them. Please encourage them by telling them that their favorite TV show or Xbox video game will be available to play as soon as they finish their chore.

Doing activities WITH your child is a great way to motivate them, rather than expecting them to “do it on their own.” Take the opportunity to capture moments and spend time with your child.

You can give them more responsibility as they get older. For example, consider getting them the pet that they have been requesting! It’s a wonderful way to bond with your child and teach them responsibility. Just make sure that you don’t end up cleaning their litterboxes or walking the dog!