Like mother, like daughter
The dawn is always silent in the morning, except if you are a parent with a young child. “Mummy! “Daddy!” This is what my husband hears when our daughter cries out. It’s different for me. I am usually rudely woken up by the vibrating baby alarm while in deep slumber. Like my daughter, I am severe to profoundly hearing impaired. If I didn’t have the warning, I would sleep through the night. I would gladly let someone else do that wake-up duty!
My family has always considered me to be the exception when it comes to hearing loss. It was thought that my cochlea did not develop properly because of an infection contracted during my mother’s pregnancy. It was a bit naive of me to expect that my child would also have a hearing impairment. Isabelle’s diagnosis made me realize that the saying ‘like mother like daughter’ was more accurate than I had hoped. This disability has not stopped me from doing what I love, and I’m determined to pass on this mental strength to my daughter.
When you suddenly become responsible for a child, your life changes drastically. I had to make some small adjustments to ensure Isabelle was safe 24/7. I have mentioned that I have a video alarm on my bed, which vibrates whenever Isabelle’s room makes a loud noise. It is the most essential piece of equipment for me as my husband works away a lot. My alarm allows me to be alert when I am parenting alone. With the vibration alarm clock and fire alarms, I am lucky to wake up naturally these days.
When I don’t have my hearing aid, parenting can be challenging. It’s when I go to bed, take a shower and swim. When I’m relying heavily on my visuals and lip-reading abilities, this is the time when I really depend on them. I shower as soon as my husband leaves the house for work or as fast as possible to prevent Isabelle from discovering my makeup in the next room. Luckily, it hasn’t yet happened …! Without hearing her, I don’t know if she is crying, so I have to get out of the bath more than once. It’s just the way it is. I have no idea how to change it. We’ve both adapted to the idea of taking my daughter to swim lessons. We both lip-read and use sign language during this time. I also make sure the teachers are aware of our needs so that they can face us when giving instructions.
We both live the same life when we wear our hearing aids. We both do better in quieter settings, but I don’t put any barriers to this. We attend baby and toddler groups and play cafes. These are louder than other places, but we can sign, lip-read, and ask people to repeat. I am in a unique position to be able to empathize with Isabelle, as I have experienced her situation. It’s important to learn how to adapt to the environment. As Isabelle gets older and more aware of her hearing impairment, I want to be a role model that normalizes these differences. “Mum can do it, so can I.” We get up, put our ‘ears on,’ and go.
