How using music to parent can liven up everyday tasks, build family bonds
Editor’s note: Lisa Huisman Koops researches how parents integrate music into every aspect of their lives, from routines and chores to family and religious rituals. Koops believes this is more important as families spend more time together and nearby because of COVID-19. This is where Koops goes over the idea of a musical approach to parenting and what it means.
What is the definition of music-based parenting?
Musical parenting is how I will describe how parents and children use music to accomplish non-musical tasks and purposes. These activities may involve daily things or ways to communicate with each other. For example, a mom could sing a song encouraging her children to wash their teeth. For dads, they can make an audio playlist to make the chores at the beginning of the week more enjoyable. Kids can sing with their parents via videoconferencing to strengthen their emotional connections.
These are only a few methods to encourage children to recognize the beauty of how they discover the world through music.
What are some of the most intriguing examples you’ve observed?
Many families that I studied utilized music to assist in the formation of the identity of their children. For example, through performing Hungarian folk songs she learned as a child, One mother encouraged her daughter Francesca to sing these songs via Skype along with the grandparents she had in Hungary.
A couple created the playlist to play for their child Maggie to build the identity of an African American girl growing up in a transracial adoption family that has white parents.
This family deliberately included many African American musicians and talked about the importance of being familiar with music as a means of social significance.
Some families also used music to help with rituals and transitions. One father wrote a piece for his child Joel to assist him in his sleep routine. The songs served as cues for what they needed to do and an enjoyable way to bond.
Another family, observant Orthodox Jews, used music throughout their weekly and daily ceremonies and on holidays. For instance, children learned songs at home and school on Purim, the Jewish holiday, which explained the history and significance of the holiday.
Is parenting musically based on the formal teaching of music?
It’s all about the family. There could be various reasons for parents to get their children with music in formal classes and in their daily lives. I’ve observed that having a variety of reasons to enroll children in music lessons can keep them interested even when their enthusiasm wane or practice becomes tricky.
Parents must communicate their own and their children’s desires and hopes to the music instructors. If a teacher thinks that it is my goal to get my child to become the most accomplished violinist in a young orchestra, but my intention is for my daughter to know and accept it’s okay to work hard to master the complex art of playing, there could be an inconsistency that causes frustration from all sides.
There’s no perfect method to raise a child musically. There are more effective ways to be a musician. Learn informally using online resources and taking the time to discover children’s musical interests by listening to music with them or singing along to quarantine-themed songs – all are ways to be entertained and grow through music.
My purpose of parenting in a musical manner is to be a part of the experience with my four children that assist us in navigating life’s challenges, unite us as a unit, and build abilities and interests that will stay for them all their lives.
