Children taking care of parents’ needs: Changing norms and what to expect

“The “Asian way,” and the “Western way” in generations in the past have been to allow children to help the parents of their grandparents as they get older. However, the way is changing, and children can now care for themselves, yet they’re still concerned about their parents’ lack of money.

Parents’ care has always been an essential part of the culture in many ways.

In Confucian culture in Asia, the writer Cynthia Kim Beglin explained in Psychology Today that “xiao” or filial piety demands that children of adulthood care for their parents’ aging physical and mental health and joy.

Associate Professor Ernest Chui from Hong Kong University said that at one time, living together with parents and their elders was common in maintaining the family role of caring for older people.

However, the changing socioeconomic conditions have brought problems for co-living and are threatening the ability of the family to take care of older adults.

A significant shift is taking place in East Asian countries and even in Singapore, which shares a Confucian tradition pr, prompting governments to play an active role in providing welfare.

This results in a “triadic relationship” between Government, family members, and individuals in taking on the responsibility of ensuring the well-being of older people.

The changing dynamics of families can also play a part. Daughters and daughters-in-law used to be the ones to serve as non-paid caregivers. British journalist Sarfraz Manzoor described the matter in The Guardian, and it was much easier to take care of elder parents when the family had more people to take on the responsibility.

Then, he said, the economic imperative and the changing family structures mean more women are employed and are taking care of their parents. This is a dated notion.

CHANGING FINANCIAL SITUATION FOR ELDERS

This shift has been evident in Singapore for several years.

The most significant milestone was in 1995 when the Government adopted an act known as the Maintenance of Parents Act. It permits anyone who is 60 years old and living within Singapore, and anyone unable to sustain himself, to request an order that his children pay an allowance each month.

Associate Professor Wing-Cheong Chan from the National University of Singapore said that the law sparked an intense debate that polarized the populace.

There was a skepticism that it diluted the Asian importance of filial piety within an orthodox Western structure, which was unneeded in light of the tiny percentage of parents being ostracized from their children.

Despite these objections, Prof Chan said that many older Singaporeans have.

There are also shifts in attitudes, although they were slow ones.

The most recent Living with Parents survey in Singapore conducted by the Institute of Policy Studies, for example, revealed that 73 percent of respondents felt that the family still has the primary responsibility of caring for their elderly relatives.

The insights of Assoc Prof Chui on the role of the Government, the majority of respondents put the Government first to second for aiding older people.

In addition, 41 percent of respondents, most likely 60 or more, claimed that “each generation should take care of itself.”

The survey carried out by the financial site Dollars, and Sense found that over half of respondents believe that children should give their parents monthly cash, and only 25 percent believe that support paren-monthly accessary.

THE CHALLENGE

From the perspective of older people, unnecessary parents continue to expect to depend on their children.

In the 2018 Ready for 100 research report about how to plan for longevity in Singapore, the insurer Prudential discovered that 31 percent of seniors are, for example, experiencing depending on their children to care for their needs; expectations are making it harder to care for their needs afteageageconducted by another insurance company, NTUC Income, discovered that, even though 66 percent of these young people accounted for the costs of taking care of their elderly parents in their plans, 8 percent believed they could support their parents financially.

Seventy percent believed they’d need to alter their lifestyles to care for their parents, such as Asimov going to a smaller home or delaying their marriage.

The HSBC Power of Protection Survey f017 also discovered that 47 percent of people are not financially prepared to help their parents should an unexpected event occur.

A shift in attitude Also, only 30% of respondents said”that “providing for my parents” is among the top five things they’re worried about in life.

BALANCING FAMILY NEEDS

There is no right or wrong option for what to do, naturally. It’s your personal preference. The most important thing is to be aware of the changes ahead and be prepared for them.

Despite the difficulties, Many of us plan to care for our parents.

However, the reality is that how they’ll be able to achieve the funds to make this happen is a question mark.

If they wish to help their parents, they might require more savings than they are currently doing.

In the future, parents and grandparents of Today must comprehend the effects of shifting attitudes and new reality.

While many elderly may expect their children to provide for them, they may have to find alternative sources of income if their children in middle age are unable or aren’t willing to contribute.

As attitudes continue to change, those who are currently middle-aged might need to plan financially for their retirement as their children, who are millennials, may not want to help them in the years ahead.