The Emotional Effects Of Stonewalling

Each couple will go through rough patches in their relationship. When one partner shuts out the other, it can have a profound impact on the longevity of the relationship. Stonewalling can have a deep emotional impact. People are not always aware of the fact that they are stonewalled. With the help of Shazia Saliem, a specialist in separation and divorce counseling, we examine what stonewalling is and its effect on a relationship.

Stonewalling in Relationships

If things are getting tough in a relationship, the best thing to do is to face the issue and find a solution. This also involves acknowledging and voicing a lot of uncomfortable emotions. Some people freeze up in stressful situations and create a wall between them and the problem. This type of reaction is called stonewalling.

A person will create a wall, either metaphorically or literally, between them and the problem they perceive as being responsible for. When a partner won’t listen, it is hard to solve the problem. You’re talking to a brick wall. When communication stops in a relationship, emotional effects such as stonewalling start to show. Here are some examples of stonewalling that can help you better understand the concept.

Obsessive thoughts, behaviors, and thoughts

Refusing to answer any questions

Deflecting and scapegoating

Acting busy or moving quickly to another task

Try to minimize your worries

Eye-rolling, scowling, and other forms of snarling

Aggressive body language

Communicating defensively

This inability to recognize stonewalling is a tendency of self-blame or a href=”https://www.bonobology.com/blame-shifting-in_relationship/”>blame shifting /a> instead of realizing why your partner has stopped reacting toward you or the problem. Inability to recognize stonewalling can lead you to blame yourself or shift the blame instead of identifying why your partner stopped responding to you or a problem. This can lead to tension and emotional stress.

The emotional effects of stonewalling on your relationship

If stonewalling persists for a long time, it can have a dynamic impact on relationships. Stonewalling can cause little arguments to spiral out of control because it makes it hard for couples to discuss their problems. Stonewalling can lead to desperation and people saying or doing anything to stop the pattern of being ignored.

The frustration of the partner who stonewalled could cause a disagreement that is more serious than the original problem. Stonewalling can cause difficulties and compound existing issues in a relationship. These nine emotional effects that can tear your relationship apart are at the core of the problem.

You may feel isolated if you stonewall

A couple must be able to feel connected in order for their relationship to be healthy. One of the emotional consequences of stonewalling, however, is the feeling that you are alone. One partner may refuse to listen and solve problems. This can make the other partner feel isolated, even though they are in a relationship.

You will feel invisible and alone with your partner if you stonewall. The wall that has been built between the couple is pushing them apart instead of bringing them closer. Emotional intimacy starts to diminish.

Shazia states, “The feeling that one feels isolated, alone, or left out in a relationship can be unhealthy. It may be that they do not act like themself, and this will affect their mental and psychological well-being. They will be confused, disappointed dis, attracted, and not know what to do. “Stonewalling can confuse because no one likes feeling alone or ignored.”

You can feel angry for a long time if you are stonewalled

When you tell someone about something, they must hear or acknowledge your words. There are problems in every relationship. But when one partner refuses the solution and allows it to burn a hole into the relationship’s foundation, anger can develop.

The anger is directed not only at the partner who stonewalls but also at yourself for allowing someone to treat you in this way. Stonewalling can make the person feeling unworthy of love feel angry and constantly angry with themselves. Stonewalling has a far more damaging effect on the victim than the stonewaller. Still, it ultimately destroys the relationship that two people have built until one stops doing their part of the work.

Resentment is a common reaction to a situation

A slow but constant buildup of resentment is another emotional effect of stonewalling in a relationship. You are now in front of a person who you used to love unconditionally and claim that they shared your feelings. Now, that same partner is gone and has discarded all of your feelings, thoughts, and opinions.

It’s very common for people to hate their partner but don’t know what to do. Shazia states, “It is disastrous for the majority of relationships.” As a result of growing resentment, stonewalling can be a common cause of divorce or separation. The majority of partners seek revenge because they cannot control their emotions. Things start to get worse.

Stonewalling can lead to low self-esteem

We reveal our innermost secrets to a person when we confess our love. No one else has ever seen or heard the contents of our hearts. Knowing that someone cares for you can boost your self-esteem. When the same person starts to act uninterested or refuses to communicate with you, it can hurt your self-esteem. Stonewalling, whether it is intentional or not, can damage self-esteem and cause bigger problems.

The person who is stonewalled will develop low confidence and a sense of self-worth. They are losing their self-confidence and will be unable to manage or handle the situation properly because of this. They may also feel unworthy of love or hurt. The ‘why me?’ thoughts creep in, and they begin to lose clarity about who they are,” says Shazia.

Reduced intimacy

The reduced intimacy between a couple is another emotional effect of stonewalling. The passion that was once ignited would start to fade and almost disappear.

This can cause a wedge to grow in the relationship. It would be best if you also asked yourself another important question. What should you do if your partner refuses to communicate with you? Tell them that they can’t expect physical and emotional intimacy in the relationship as long as they keep up their current behavior. A lack of familiarity may force a partner to accept their reality and open their eyes.