What Money Questions Should You Ask Your Partner

Money is not the most sexy topic to discuss. You would rather talk about the latest episode of the Netflix series that you both watch or how you met. Finances are an important part of our lives and, therefore, of relationships. Money decisions are more than the check-dance over who pays for the bill after a date.

Money and its management will be a challenge as you develop your relationship. Moving in, marriage and parenthood all involve financial considerations, however unromantic they may sound. Make money a topic of conversation early on. Asking important questions about money will help you avoid problems in the future. Finance shouldn’t be the cause of your relationship falling apart.

Before you make a decision, ask yourself these questions about money.

1. What are your goals?

2. What do you envision yourself doing in 10 to 15 years?

3. What is your favorite thing to spend money on?

4. What are your favorite ways to save?

5. What would you do with the money if you won tomorrow?

If you’re getting serious

You may think it’s a bit intrusive, but you need to know the important financial details of your partner before making any commitments and planning a future with them. This will allow you to determine if your economic ends are aligned and make it easier for more serious discussions like marriage and moving in together.

6. Does your parent currently pay for any of your bills or expenses?

7. Want more education for the future?

8. What do you spend “fun” money on?

9. Expect your spouse to be working full-time or part-time.

10. What was your parent’s money like?

11. What is the one thing you would never compromise on?

Are you moving together?

You have the right to know all about your roommate and partner’s finances if you are going to share a house. You want to make sure that both of you are committed to this move and that your values in terms of homemaking and finances are similar. Make sure that the main reason for moving in with your partner is not financial but rather a matter of convenience. You may find it tempting to move in with your partner if you spend every night together, as you would be saving half on rent. But remember that you are making a big commitment. You’ll save money and pain if you don’t do it out of financial motives. If you are not happy in your relationship but feel financially trapped, it may be time to move on.

Who is responsible for managing the finances and paying bills?

13. What do you think is the best way to spend money in order to own a house (renting a great location or renting a large space vs. renting a place with a great location, buying groceries, etc. )? What’s not?

14. How much of your monthly income are you willing and able to spend on bills?

15. Are you owing any money at the moment?

16. Have you got any money in savings?

17. What amount do you plan to save in case of an emergency?

18. Why do we consider moving in together?

If you’re getting married

It’s not a vow to stay married until death does your part. This is a legal obligation that will forever define your finances in relation to the other person. Your partner’s spending habits can affect your life, whether you choose to follow the “what’s yours is mine” rule or not. Ask these questions to help you avoid future problems.

19. How much debt have you got?

20. Do you have a retirement plan?

21. What is the maximum amount that one of us may spend without consulting the other?

22. What age would you like to retire? What are your retirement goals?

23. What if we can’t conceive but want to have children? What are our financial expectations for fertility treatments and adoption?

24. Would you help a family financially if it was needed? What amount would you be willing to give?

25. Were we given equal rights to decide how our money is spent as a couple? (i.e., buying a home, investing, childcare, etc.) No matter who makes more money?