You don’t need a better half–and this is why
It’s happened to us all, either in another person or ourselves: A woman (or a man) falls in love, and somewhere along the line, they forget themselves and become half of a human being. The wants and needs of another person become more important to them. They disappear or, to be more accurate, they disappear into the new romance. They do not return until the initial feeling of magic fades.
It’s easy to fall head over heels in love when we recognize it. While love and partnership are wonderful, if that’s what you want, they shouldn’t come at the expense of your self-esteem.
The media and romantic movies have influenced the way in which we view and celebrate love. The language is everywhere: the other half, the better half, and the soulmate. Love is not only a beautiful part of life in this world. It’s also a necessary achievement to achieve a complete human being.
You do not need to have a “better half” because you are only half of a human being.
This is a terrible idea. You don’t have to be “better halves” because you’re not half a person. You are an entire person. Healthy relationships are not made up of two halves that have been broken and become one. A healthy relationship is made up of two complete people, each with their dreams, plans, and ideas. They choose to navigate the world as a team. Here’s the real kicker: staying true to yourself will not only make you happier in the future, but it will also make you an honest and better partner.
I can confirm that maintaining a successful, functioning marriage takes more effort than any other job I have ever held. My husband and I are different people now than we were five years ago. We’ve experienced growing pains as our goals and plans have shifted us apart and together in certain ways.
It’s not easy to commit for the long term, but we try really hard at the beginning of a relationship to make it seem like it is. During the first months and years of a relationship, when you think your partner is perfect, you ignore any personality traits that may bother you later. You also disguise bad habits later to avoid them.
Remaining fearlessly ourselves: the good, the bad, the trying-to-untangle-headphones-while-you’re-in-a-rush ugly, might scare off more than a few potential partners who never would have worked out anyway. This can make dating more dangerous and vulnerable. It may also make it more difficult to meet someone special. Then, you can relax knowing that those who stay around will be the ones you are compatible with.
Keep your goals in mind.
It’s normal for your goals and dreams to change over time as you imagine a future together. But don’t forget that it is OK (and even necessary) to set goals outside of the relationship. After settling down, you owe yourself not to become complacent.
Prioritize family and friends.
It’s easy to forget about your friends and family when you begin a new relationship. Double your efforts to keep in touch with family and friends as you start a new relationship. “Am I saying no to them more often than yes?”
Own your hobbies
You don’t have to share everything with your partner. You do not have to share everything with your partner. You may enjoy reading, while your partner prefers video games. You may enjoy being outdoors while your partner likes to stay indoors. These things may help you decide if you are compatible, but you can still have different interests and aspects of your life that do not overlap. It is more important that you are honest with each other and supportive than it is that you both enjoy camping. I promise.
